Yesterday was our first doctor appointment. And now that I think about it, we never did see an actual doctor... But that is because Ryan and I have decided to try a midwife for our first pregnancy. She comes highly recommended by my chiropractor - and why not stick with more natural medicine if that's what I'm already used to doing?
The truth is that I have no idea what I am doing and yesterday I was a little nervous.
I get that way when I have to do something new or different. In the two years Ryan and I have been married I've never even visited the medical complex that I will now be frequenting over the next 7 months. I don't really get sick and I'm never accident prone. In fact, I've only been to hospitals to visit other people. I just don't like pain and I will avoid at any cost the type of activities that might cause pain. And now I'm on this roller coaster of pregnancy that will inevitably end in the extreme pains of labor. Hence, my nervousness.
Luckily the appointment yesterday calmed my agitated state. It was your basic informative meeting. The nurse practitioner walked us through what to expect over the next 7 months. She also gave us a stack of literature on how to maintain a safe pregnancy (i.e. what type of foods to avoid, how to exercise, behaviors to restrict, etc.). We even received a little "gift bag" of prenatal vitamins and baby magazines.
Once the nurse started talking I realized that I already knew a lot of the information she was imparting to us. In college I took an embryology class (and freaked out because we talked so much about the problems of pregnancy that it seemed nearly impossible to give birth to a healthy child!) and I've done a little bit of my own online research in the past 3 weeks. The nurse's words confirmed my own knowledge and felt more like a refresher course than a brand new subject. It was soothing to hear her speak on familiar topics. She also seemed to know just what to say, almost reading the questions in my mind.
More than anything, I was thankful for Ryan's presence at the appointment. It was never a question if he would join me - but I can't help appreciating his support anyway. I know he will be at my side throughout this pregnancy, catering to my silly whims and protecting me from harm. He will be my strength at the delivery and my child's advocate from the moment of birth until we arrive safely home. Ryan's support and strength give me peace in a time of uncertainty and unanswerable questions. I can't imagine going through pregnancy without him. More than anything, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband, this man shaped by God and chosen for me in marriage. I don't know why I deserve him; I am humbled at the goodness of the Lord who brought us together.
Although I diverge from the story of our doctor appointment, I can't help but mention my husband. He was quiet through most of the appointment, but always at full attention. And he will continue to join me for these appointments - especially as they become more exciting and we learn more about our child.
It all feels real now. We are really going to have a baby. The adventure has just begun...