Taking care of a brand new little person is a lot more difficult than I ever anticipated. Just when I think his tummy is full & he's clean all over - something inevitably spews out of his little body. The last day or so has been a rash of spitting up (and one projectile vomiting incident. Seriously, it looked like a fountain coming out of his mouth). The few days before that, peeing out the back of his little newborn diapers. Four outfit changes in less than an hour. Our laundry schedule is on serious overload.
[As I sit here now, with the little man on my lap while I type away, more spit-up arrives on the scene.]
But then an even weirder phenomenon occurs. I start to look into his little eyes, to watch the myriad of expressions that cross his face in the course of 30 seconds, and I fall in love all over again. This effect is strengthened when his little eyes stare back into mine, or when his tiny baby fingers grasp my own adult-sized finger.
Yes, Michael Ryan, I will continue to care for you, change your diapers, wipe the spit-up off your face, change those urine soaked little outfits & bedsheets - even when my OCD cleanliness factor can't stand it anymore (it's a genetic thing - just ask my mother, or grandmothers). I'll wash a load or 2 of laundry every day, even though it takes 3 days for the same load of clean clothes to make it back into the drawers. And, most especially, I promise to keep covering your face in mommy kisses and to always snuggle with you and hold you and rock you and comfort you. Because you are a gift. A very precious gift.
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1 comment:
that first sentence captures how i feel too!! i never knew how much work it would be to care for clare, but maybe that is best anyway. ;) diaper changes and feedings seem to take up 20 out of 24 hrs in the day..but the smiles get me through them as well as my desire to be the one who loves first to establish trust with clare. i want her to know how much i love her and during these early weeks the best way i can do it is by consistently and gently answering her needs even when i have so many needs of my own and just want to sleep or feed myself!
with our babies only days apart, just know some girl in ohio is going through spit up episodes and laundry overload too ;) and you can add to that diaper rash (from neglectful parents!!! it's gone now thanks to "naked days" for air drying AND now using the blow dryer every time we change her haha), clogged eye duct, and congestion (clare, unfortunately doesn't like my cure for this: flooding with saline drops and the dreaded aspirator!) so now you see where the other 4 hours go..;)
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