Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
In This Second Week of Advent...
...I am very tired.
The baby gestational clock is really ticking now. And I am starting to feel the discomforts at the end of pregnancy. It's funny how eventually the bodily pains and impatience overshadow any fears of labor pain. I just want Michael Ryan out! But not at this very moment. He's under specific orders to wait until Baby Sister returns home from Europe on the 14th. And then Ryan is finished with his semester on the 15th. Come anytime after that. Preferably before the 17th - when M.R.'s godparents leave for California. Got all that little-one-in-womb?
With the arrival of Advent, I have been so much more aware of Michael Ryan's impending birth. He really could be a Christmas baby, with a due date on the 21st. And I have a wonderful feeling of communion with the Virgin Mary, waiting for my son, as she waited for her son Jesus to be born. It gives me a deeper perspective on the meaning of Christmas. To think of Mary riding on a donkey for endless miles also keeps me from complaining about my own inconveniences!
I've been trying to take it very slow this Advent season - to really reflect on the season and the coming Christmas celebration. It's been nice to be done with my job, to be able to spend those 40 hours a week working on other projects with an unhurried pace. I am slowly completing a list of tasks before Michael Ryan arrives. Slow is the key word here.
My successes so far: washing & organizing the baby clothes, putting up Christmas decorations, purchasing almost all the Christmas gifts, and (finally!) finishing baby thank you notes. I've also typed up a birth plan, selected a family doctor, and attended my first Le Leche League meeting. I feel about 80% prepared for Michael's birth - enough that I am not freaking out, but all is not quite finished. I still have a stack of baby gifts to sift through & organize, those Christmas gifts need to be wrapped, and I have a couple of photo album projects I would really like to complete. Each day I just try to do the best I can and go to sleep in peace with what I have accomplished.
In this second week of Advent...
...life is good - even if I'm tired.
The baby gestational clock is really ticking now. And I am starting to feel the discomforts at the end of pregnancy. It's funny how eventually the bodily pains and impatience overshadow any fears of labor pain. I just want Michael Ryan out! But not at this very moment. He's under specific orders to wait until Baby Sister returns home from Europe on the 14th. And then Ryan is finished with his semester on the 15th. Come anytime after that. Preferably before the 17th - when M.R.'s godparents leave for California. Got all that little-one-in-womb?
With the arrival of Advent, I have been so much more aware of Michael Ryan's impending birth. He really could be a Christmas baby, with a due date on the 21st. And I have a wonderful feeling of communion with the Virgin Mary, waiting for my son, as she waited for her son Jesus to be born. It gives me a deeper perspective on the meaning of Christmas. To think of Mary riding on a donkey for endless miles also keeps me from complaining about my own inconveniences!
I've been trying to take it very slow this Advent season - to really reflect on the season and the coming Christmas celebration. It's been nice to be done with my job, to be able to spend those 40 hours a week working on other projects with an unhurried pace. I am slowly completing a list of tasks before Michael Ryan arrives. Slow is the key word here.
My successes so far: washing & organizing the baby clothes, putting up Christmas decorations, purchasing almost all the Christmas gifts, and (finally!) finishing baby thank you notes. I've also typed up a birth plan, selected a family doctor, and attended my first Le Leche League meeting. I feel about 80% prepared for Michael's birth - enough that I am not freaking out, but all is not quite finished. I still have a stack of baby gifts to sift through & organize, those Christmas gifts need to be wrapped, and I have a couple of photo album projects I would really like to complete. Each day I just try to do the best I can and go to sleep in peace with what I have accomplished.
In this second week of Advent...
...life is good - even if I'm tired.
Friday, November 21, 2008
First Snow!
I don't like snow. Well, I don't really like snow after dealing with it for a long time. But it's always exciting when you get your first really good snow of the season. And ours has come early this year!
Notice the nice (zipped-up) maternity coat that I am sporting in this picture. I had been wavering on whether or not to purchase a coat because I only have a month left to go. However, my desire for warmth finally trumped my frugality. Yesterday my mother and I went shopping and found a nice, cozy winter coat to fit the expanding dimensions of my belly. And boy, I sure didn't wait a moment too long! The lake-effect snow kicked in about an hour after our stop at the mall. A very fortunate event!
Then last night Ryan and I had to get out and play in the fresh, puffy snow. We threw on our coats over our pajamas and grabbed the camera. I think a few of the hall residents gave us funny looks on our way out the door. I often wonder what they think of us.... I mean, we are obviously older than them, married, and having a baby - BUT - then we have these moments when we can't help but play like little kids.
And then we woke up this morning to......MORE SNOW!
Here's a picture of Ryan digging out our car this morning, on his way to class. Even with a foot of snow, and more falling, the university didn't cancel classes. It's an unheard of luxery around here - an honest to goodness snow day.
I am enjoying the snow now. We'll see how long it lasts!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Baby Update
Along with being MIA for a month, I haven't yet had the opportunity to share our baby news with you:
We're having a boy!
Ryan and I found out this great news during my first ultrasound, about 5 weeks ago. We had a feeling our first child would be a boy, and we were right on target. It just makes sense to me, to start the family with a boy. I always wanted an older brother (being the eldest of 3 girls) - and since it didn't happen for me, at the very least I can provide an eldest brother for my daughters! Since I have so very much to do with deciding the sex of our children...
We decided to name our first son, Michael Ryan. A tradition stands in Ryan's family to give the first son his father's name as a middle name. Ryan is Ryan Daniel, his father is Daniel Norman, and so forth. Michael's name was chosen years ago (as soon as I knew that Ryan would one day be the father of my children). We had to figure out what sounded the best with "Ryan" as a second name. I also wanted to go strong with a saint or Christian name. We found "Michael" to be the perfect choice - after St. Michael the Archangel. Who better to be the patron saint of our firstborn than the defender of heaven?
It's been fun to call Michael Ryan by name. Some women have told me that it makes them feel closer to the baby to give him/her a name. I don't necessary feel that way. I always knew I would have a son first and name him Michael Ryan. My experience of joy comes from being able to talk about Michael Ryan as a real person, with a name. I no longer have to use the terms "the baby," "him or her," or (worst of all) "it" to talk about my child. I am able to give little Michael Ryan a voice in the world, defending his personhood with a simple name. He may not be able to speak for himself yet, but no one can deny his human rights when he is called by name.
We're having a boy!
Ryan and I found out this great news during my first ultrasound, about 5 weeks ago. We had a feeling our first child would be a boy, and we were right on target. It just makes sense to me, to start the family with a boy. I always wanted an older brother (being the eldest of 3 girls) - and since it didn't happen for me, at the very least I can provide an eldest brother for my daughters! Since I have so very much to do with deciding the sex of our children...
We decided to name our first son, Michael Ryan. A tradition stands in Ryan's family to give the first son his father's name as a middle name. Ryan is Ryan Daniel, his father is Daniel Norman, and so forth. Michael's name was chosen years ago (as soon as I knew that Ryan would one day be the father of my children). We had to figure out what sounded the best with "Ryan" as a second name. I also wanted to go strong with a saint or Christian name. We found "Michael" to be the perfect choice - after St. Michael the Archangel. Who better to be the patron saint of our firstborn than the defender of heaven?
It's been fun to call Michael Ryan by name. Some women have told me that it makes them feel closer to the baby to give him/her a name. I don't necessary feel that way. I always knew I would have a son first and name him Michael Ryan. My experience of joy comes from being able to talk about Michael Ryan as a real person, with a name. I no longer have to use the terms "the baby," "him or her," or (worst of all) "it" to talk about my child. I am able to give little Michael Ryan a voice in the world, defending his personhood with a simple name. He may not be able to speak for himself yet, but no one can deny his human rights when he is called by name.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Best Diet I've Ever Been On
It's been 18 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy so far. According to most pregnancy sources, the normal weight gain over 9 months is 25 to 35 pounds. I am determined to make this range of weight gain a reality - especially after my mother has freaked me out with stories of gaining 50 pounds each time.
As of this week, I've gained a net of only 4 pounds. The thing is, I'm getting quite big round the middle. And my husband tells me that I look skinnier in other places, like my chubby face. So, I have a hypothesis:
I have to say, this is the best "diet" I've ever been on. I can eat anything I want, I crave healthy food, I don't have a desire to eat really sweet or processed foods, and no matter how inactive I tend to be, I am actually losing weight/fat in all the non-pregnancy places! Wow. And I hear breastfeeding is even better (aka: I get to eat even more).
In all seriousness, I think the pregnancy has actually helped my mind re-prioritize food. I used to emotionally eat and idealize food. Now I eat because I'm hungry and I have to eat. The little baby in womb is very demanding about that. There are even times when I don't take any pleasure from eating, it's just a necessity. And there's a freedom in this lack of pleasure. It means I can no longer emotionally eat - it just doesn't taste good!
Who knew that the antidote to over-eating was being required to eat all the time?
As of this week, I've gained a net of only 4 pounds. The thing is, I'm getting quite big round the middle. And my husband tells me that I look skinnier in other places, like my chubby face. So, I have a hypothesis:
The extra 10 pounds I was carrying around pre-pregnancy are slowly being converted into actual baby weight. The baby is getting bigger and I'm getting smaller -hence the low level net weight gain thus far.
I have to say, this is the best "diet" I've ever been on. I can eat anything I want, I crave healthy food, I don't have a desire to eat really sweet or processed foods, and no matter how inactive I tend to be, I am actually losing weight/fat in all the non-pregnancy places! Wow. And I hear breastfeeding is even better (aka: I get to eat even more).
In all seriousness, I think the pregnancy has actually helped my mind re-prioritize food. I used to emotionally eat and idealize food. Now I eat because I'm hungry and I have to eat. The little baby in womb is very demanding about that. There are even times when I don't take any pleasure from eating, it's just a necessity. And there's a freedom in this lack of pleasure. It means I can no longer emotionally eat - it just doesn't taste good!
Who knew that the antidote to over-eating was being required to eat all the time?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Too Tired to Post
I've just been so tired lately. I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy, the constant summer activities, or the working full-time and training my replacement. Maybe it's a little bit of everything!
I really am too tired to post tonight. I just wanted to put something up here, so it seems like I am still maintaining this blog...
Before I go, I'll leave you with a slightly dated photo. I am currently 18 weeks along, but this is a picture of my growing belly at 16 and 1/2 weeks. I'm sure the baby is taking a lot of energy out of me!
Wahoo - I'm finally showing!
I really am too tired to post tonight. I just wanted to put something up here, so it seems like I am still maintaining this blog...
Before I go, I'll leave you with a slightly dated photo. I am currently 18 weeks along, but this is a picture of my growing belly at 16 and 1/2 weeks. I'm sure the baby is taking a lot of energy out of me!
Wahoo - I'm finally showing!Friday, July 11, 2008
Where Does All the Time Go When I Have Nothing to Do?
I've noticed: on the days I have less required of me I am less efficient with my time overall.
It's a curious phenomenon. You'd think that with more time on my hands I would naturally spend it doing more of those necessary daily tasks. However, I've found quite the opposite to be true. I prefer to do nothing at all!
Here's an example: This week was the first in a long time that I've had every single evening free of commitments. But as I contemplate the past week I realize that all those little projects I've left "until later" are still waiting for me to finish them. Plus I just plain stopped doing household chores - such as dishes & laundry.
What have I been doing with my time? Hmm... Reading my new baby books, watching movies, and updating Facebook. It's all very important - at least that's what I tell myself.
I think it's all boils down to discipline - or the lack thereof. When my schedule is full I am required to discipline myself for the sake of my sanity. But it's not be a real, life-changing type of discipline I put on. It's actually the college style I've-got-a-paper-due-tomorrow-morning-and-I-procrastinated-until-now type of discipline. Fleeting.
As I was reading my new baby books (The Baby Sleep Book & The Baby Book by William & Martha Sears) it dawned on me that I'm never going to be able to handle a new baby if my life is already in chaos at 4 months pregnant. I've got to set a basic standard before the baby arrives. How can I expect to teach my baby when/how to sleep if I don't have a regular sleep pattern for myself? And how can I expect to get on a regular sleep pattern with a newborn if I've never had set schedule before?! (I do realize that there is no such thing as a "regular sleep pattern" with a newborn - but I'm learning that you can teach babies the difference between night and day, which leads to an eventual bedtime.)
The moral of my ponderings? I must return to the roots of discipline. I am motivated. I've wasted a week. But now I'm motivated.
Or maybe I'm yet again on the eve of a college paper....
Let's hope this change is for real. I'll report back to you to keep myself accountable. Now I've put it out there I've got to do it.
It's a curious phenomenon. You'd think that with more time on my hands I would naturally spend it doing more of those necessary daily tasks. However, I've found quite the opposite to be true. I prefer to do nothing at all!
Here's an example: This week was the first in a long time that I've had every single evening free of commitments. But as I contemplate the past week I realize that all those little projects I've left "until later" are still waiting for me to finish them. Plus I just plain stopped doing household chores - such as dishes & laundry.
What have I been doing with my time? Hmm... Reading my new baby books, watching movies, and updating Facebook. It's all very important - at least that's what I tell myself.
I think it's all boils down to discipline - or the lack thereof. When my schedule is full I am required to discipline myself for the sake of my sanity. But it's not be a real, life-changing type of discipline I put on. It's actually the college style I've-got-a-paper-due-tomorrow-morning-and-I-procrastinated-until-now type of discipline. Fleeting.
As I was reading my new baby books (The Baby Sleep Book & The Baby Book by William & Martha Sears) it dawned on me that I'm never going to be able to handle a new baby if my life is already in chaos at 4 months pregnant. I've got to set a basic standard before the baby arrives. How can I expect to teach my baby when/how to sleep if I don't have a regular sleep pattern for myself? And how can I expect to get on a regular sleep pattern with a newborn if I've never had set schedule before?! (I do realize that there is no such thing as a "regular sleep pattern" with a newborn - but I'm learning that you can teach babies the difference between night and day, which leads to an eventual bedtime.)
The moral of my ponderings? I must return to the roots of discipline. I am motivated. I've wasted a week. But now I'm motivated.
Or maybe I'm yet again on the eve of a college paper....
Let's hope this change is for real. I'll report back to you to keep myself accountable. Now I've put it out there I've got to do it.
Monday, June 9, 2008
2nd Doctor Appointment
Wow. I am so ready for this next week to be over. Then I am officially in the 2nd trimester. Everyone keeps telling me that it gets better in the 2nd trimester. And I need more energy. Not only is the blog suffering, but my general life is on hold as well. So, I will do the best I can to catch up and restart, beginning today...
Ryan and I went in for our second doctor appointment on Thursday, June 5th. It was actually pretty short. They just gave me the results of my blood test and told me to bring back a food journal for my next appointment. Then we were able to listen to the baby's heartbeat. It was amazing, but surreal - I am not sure that I really feel pregnant yet. I don't think that feeling will occur until I actually feel the baby moving around.
Part of me was a little disappointed that I didn't suddenly feel different when I heard my baby's heartbeat. I guess I had expected some kind of supernatural change to come over me. Other women have talked about it being the moment they felt like a mother. I didn't really experience an overwhelming sense of motherhood. In fact, I thought, "Huh, that's a strange sound coming from my abdomen..." My head and heart are not really connected in the situation. I know I am a mother, but I don't yet know I am a mother.
One thing that struck me this week is the size of my baby. He or she is now approximately the size of a lime. I can imagine all the tiny features on a baby this size. And my stomach is starting to protrude just a little bit (although I still pretty much look like I really need a good ab workout to the general eye). I also found out that the baby will respond to pressure on my stomach. If I poke my stomach, he will move in response. I can't feel it yet, but it's happening. So cool...
Anyway, it's my bedtime now. I need as much sleep as I can get these days. And since I want to have some energy tomorrow, I really need to wrap up my evening pronto. Don't worry - I'll be back soon!
Ryan and I went in for our second doctor appointment on Thursday, June 5th. It was actually pretty short. They just gave me the results of my blood test and told me to bring back a food journal for my next appointment. Then we were able to listen to the baby's heartbeat. It was amazing, but surreal - I am not sure that I really feel pregnant yet. I don't think that feeling will occur until I actually feel the baby moving around.
Part of me was a little disappointed that I didn't suddenly feel different when I heard my baby's heartbeat. I guess I had expected some kind of supernatural change to come over me. Other women have talked about it being the moment they felt like a mother. I didn't really experience an overwhelming sense of motherhood. In fact, I thought, "Huh, that's a strange sound coming from my abdomen..." My head and heart are not really connected in the situation. I know I am a mother, but I don't yet know I am a mother.
One thing that struck me this week is the size of my baby. He or she is now approximately the size of a lime. I can imagine all the tiny features on a baby this size. And my stomach is starting to protrude just a little bit (although I still pretty much look like I really need a good ab workout to the general eye). I also found out that the baby will respond to pressure on my stomach. If I poke my stomach, he will move in response. I can't feel it yet, but it's happening. So cool...
Anyway, it's my bedtime now. I need as much sleep as I can get these days. And since I want to have some energy tomorrow, I really need to wrap up my evening pronto. Don't worry - I'll be back soon!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sleep Most Important
It occurred to me yesterday, when I was feeling utterly miserable, that sleep could be the pivotal factor in a happy pregnancy. Let me 'splain...
I've noticed that on the nights I make sure to go to bed earlier and get enough sleep (although, enough is a word open to interpretation these days) I wake up the next morning and have a great day. Food tastes good. I have energy. I go to work and then come home and putter around doing housewifely things (such as dishes, laundry, making the bed, etc.).
However... On the nights I stay up and hang out with hubby or read Lord of the Rings far past my bedtime I wake up the next morning feeling AWFUL (yes, it's that bad - and no, I'm not whining). It's not only that I'm tired, but nothing tastes good, I have no energy, and I am pretty much useless at work. It used to be that sleeping 6 hours instead of 8 hours just made me tired. Now I feel sick and useless. Forget about coming home and tidying the house - ain't gonna happen.
I'm not sure if this is a wide-spread phenomenon or if it's just me. Either way, my big plans this weekend definitely include shutting off the alarm and sleeping until obscenely late on Sunday morning. Thank goodness for 12:15 Mass...
I've noticed that on the nights I make sure to go to bed earlier and get enough sleep (although, enough is a word open to interpretation these days) I wake up the next morning and have a great day. Food tastes good. I have energy. I go to work and then come home and putter around doing housewifely things (such as dishes, laundry, making the bed, etc.).
However... On the nights I stay up and hang out with hubby or read Lord of the Rings far past my bedtime I wake up the next morning feeling AWFUL (yes, it's that bad - and no, I'm not whining). It's not only that I'm tired, but nothing tastes good, I have no energy, and I am pretty much useless at work. It used to be that sleeping 6 hours instead of 8 hours just made me tired. Now I feel sick and useless. Forget about coming home and tidying the house - ain't gonna happen.
I'm not sure if this is a wide-spread phenomenon or if it's just me. Either way, my big plans this weekend definitely include shutting off the alarm and sleeping until obscenely late on Sunday morning. Thank goodness for 12:15 Mass...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
My Little Kidney Bean
I feel like a terrible blogger. Two really good posting days have passed me by and I have failed to post anything new. So here's a shout-out to Mother's Day (Sunday, May 11) and to the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima (Tuesday, May 13). I feel better now.
So, I've been thinking: Right at this very moment I have a tiny baby, the size of a kidney bean, growing inside of me. I don't look very different yet (although I did take pictures on Sunday to commemorate achieving 8 weeks of pregnancy), and I have gained a total of about half a pound. I'm ok with that weight gain. I'm supposed to gain about 5-7 pounds in the first trimester and I was at least 5 pounds overweight to begin with. I think my body is adjusting itself.
For some reason the kidney bean image resonates with me. Perhaps it's because the shape is correct - my baby has a big head and tiny arms and legs, and is all curled up in a little semi-circle. Sometimes I can't quite wrap my mind around what is actually going on inside of me. But now that my baby is the size of a kidney bean... Well, that size makes sense to me.
I read another women's musings on pregnancy recently (and desperately tried to find the original source for my own post, but have no idea where to find it, so here's a shout-out to whoever you are) and was struck by her words.
Or something close to that. It's not a direct quote. But the essence of her words has stuck with me since reading them.
The time I am in now is such weird time to be in - knowing that I am pregnant, but not having any "proof" of it. I don't look pregnant yet, I can't feel the baby moving inside of me, and I don't really feel the effects of first trimester sickness. And there's still a possibility that something could go wrong and I could have a miscarriage. So I've got to have patience and trust that God will take care of me and my little kidney bean. Not only do I have to trust that a new person really is growing inside my womb, but I also have to act responsibly for my baby. This is a time that requires my faith to increase beyond what I know through my senses.
I don't necessarily feel closer to God at this moment, but I understand why the other mother does. Right now it's hard to connect with my baby, to even believe he or she is really there. So now is the time to throw myself into my Father's arms and trust Him, to let Him take care of us both. In becoming vulnerable, God will draw me close to Himself.
And my little kidney bean will continue to grow. Soon I will be able to hear a heart-beat and to feel little feet and hands punching me from inside out. I won't need to have faith that my baby is there because I will know from my sense experiences that he or she exists. I will have my "proof" at last. It makes this time important for my relationship with God. I understand why the those words have stuck with me. I have an opportunity at this moment to do more than just wait.
* * *
So, I've been thinking: Right at this very moment I have a tiny baby, the size of a kidney bean, growing inside of me. I don't look very different yet (although I did take pictures on Sunday to commemorate achieving 8 weeks of pregnancy), and I have gained a total of about half a pound. I'm ok with that weight gain. I'm supposed to gain about 5-7 pounds in the first trimester and I was at least 5 pounds overweight to begin with. I think my body is adjusting itself.
For some reason the kidney bean image resonates with me. Perhaps it's because the shape is correct - my baby has a big head and tiny arms and legs, and is all curled up in a little semi-circle. Sometimes I can't quite wrap my mind around what is actually going on inside of me. But now that my baby is the size of a kidney bean... Well, that size makes sense to me.
I read another women's musings on pregnancy recently (and desperately tried to find the original source for my own post, but have no idea where to find it, so here's a shout-out to whoever you are) and was struck by her words.
During the time when I discover I am pregnant until I am able to feel my child moving in my womb, I feel the closest to God.
Or something close to that. It's not a direct quote. But the essence of her words has stuck with me since reading them.
The time I am in now is such weird time to be in - knowing that I am pregnant, but not having any "proof" of it. I don't look pregnant yet, I can't feel the baby moving inside of me, and I don't really feel the effects of first trimester sickness. And there's still a possibility that something could go wrong and I could have a miscarriage. So I've got to have patience and trust that God will take care of me and my little kidney bean. Not only do I have to trust that a new person really is growing inside my womb, but I also have to act responsibly for my baby. This is a time that requires my faith to increase beyond what I know through my senses.
I don't necessarily feel closer to God at this moment, but I understand why the other mother does. Right now it's hard to connect with my baby, to even believe he or she is really there. So now is the time to throw myself into my Father's arms and trust Him, to let Him take care of us both. In becoming vulnerable, God will draw me close to Himself.
And my little kidney bean will continue to grow. Soon I will be able to hear a heart-beat and to feel little feet and hands punching me from inside out. I won't need to have faith that my baby is there because I will know from my sense experiences that he or she exists. I will have my "proof" at last. It makes this time important for my relationship with God. I understand why the those words have stuck with me. I have an opportunity at this moment to do more than just wait.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Our First Doctor Appointment
Yesterday was our first doctor appointment. And now that I think about it, we never did see an actual doctor... But that is because Ryan and I have decided to try a midwife for our first pregnancy. She comes highly recommended by my chiropractor - and why not stick with more natural medicine if that's what I'm already used to doing?
The truth is that I have no idea what I am doing and yesterday I was a little nervous.
I get that way when I have to do something new or different. In the two years Ryan and I have been married I've never even visited the medical complex that I will now be frequenting over the next 7 months. I don't really get sick and I'm never accident prone. In fact, I've only been to hospitals to visit other people. I just don't like pain and I will avoid at any cost the type of activities that might cause pain. And now I'm on this roller coaster of pregnancy that will inevitably end in the extreme pains of labor. Hence, my nervousness.
Luckily the appointment yesterday calmed my agitated state. It was your basic informative meeting. The nurse practitioner walked us through what to expect over the next 7 months. She also gave us a stack of literature on how to maintain a safe pregnancy (i.e. what type of foods to avoid, how to exercise, behaviors to restrict, etc.). We even received a little "gift bag" of prenatal vitamins and baby magazines.
Once the nurse started talking I realized that I already knew a lot of the information she was imparting to us. In college I took an embryology class (and freaked out because we talked so much about the problems of pregnancy that it seemed nearly impossible to give birth to a healthy child!) and I've done a little bit of my own online research in the past 3 weeks. The nurse's words confirmed my own knowledge and felt more like a refresher course than a brand new subject. It was soothing to hear her speak on familiar topics. She also seemed to know just what to say, almost reading the questions in my mind.
More than anything, I was thankful for Ryan's presence at the appointment. It was never a question if he would join me - but I can't help appreciating his support anyway. I know he will be at my side throughout this pregnancy, catering to my silly whims and protecting me from harm. He will be my strength at the delivery and my child's advocate from the moment of birth until we arrive safely home. Ryan's support and strength give me peace in a time of uncertainty and unanswerable questions. I can't imagine going through pregnancy without him. More than anything, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband, this man shaped by God and chosen for me in marriage. I don't know why I deserve him; I am humbled at the goodness of the Lord who brought us together.
Although I diverge from the story of our doctor appointment, I can't help but mention my husband. He was quiet through most of the appointment, but always at full attention. And he will continue to join me for these appointments - especially as they become more exciting and we learn more about our child.
It all feels real now. We are really going to have a baby. The adventure has just begun...
The truth is that I have no idea what I am doing and yesterday I was a little nervous.
I get that way when I have to do something new or different. In the two years Ryan and I have been married I've never even visited the medical complex that I will now be frequenting over the next 7 months. I don't really get sick and I'm never accident prone. In fact, I've only been to hospitals to visit other people. I just don't like pain and I will avoid at any cost the type of activities that might cause pain. And now I'm on this roller coaster of pregnancy that will inevitably end in the extreme pains of labor. Hence, my nervousness.
Luckily the appointment yesterday calmed my agitated state. It was your basic informative meeting. The nurse practitioner walked us through what to expect over the next 7 months. She also gave us a stack of literature on how to maintain a safe pregnancy (i.e. what type of foods to avoid, how to exercise, behaviors to restrict, etc.). We even received a little "gift bag" of prenatal vitamins and baby magazines.
Once the nurse started talking I realized that I already knew a lot of the information she was imparting to us. In college I took an embryology class (and freaked out because we talked so much about the problems of pregnancy that it seemed nearly impossible to give birth to a healthy child!) and I've done a little bit of my own online research in the past 3 weeks. The nurse's words confirmed my own knowledge and felt more like a refresher course than a brand new subject. It was soothing to hear her speak on familiar topics. She also seemed to know just what to say, almost reading the questions in my mind.
More than anything, I was thankful for Ryan's presence at the appointment. It was never a question if he would join me - but I can't help appreciating his support anyway. I know he will be at my side throughout this pregnancy, catering to my silly whims and protecting me from harm. He will be my strength at the delivery and my child's advocate from the moment of birth until we arrive safely home. Ryan's support and strength give me peace in a time of uncertainty and unanswerable questions. I can't imagine going through pregnancy without him. More than anything, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband, this man shaped by God and chosen for me in marriage. I don't know why I deserve him; I am humbled at the goodness of the Lord who brought us together.
Although I diverge from the story of our doctor appointment, I can't help but mention my husband. He was quiet through most of the appointment, but always at full attention. And he will continue to join me for these appointments - especially as they become more exciting and we learn more about our child.
It all feels real now. We are really going to have a baby. The adventure has just begun...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Eating for Two (or; Having to Eat is Not as Fun as Wanting to Eat!)
The first question I am asked these days is "how are you feeling?" Most of time time I can smile and claim that I don't really feel different. Maybe I am more tired and hungry than before pregnancy - but mostly I feel the same as I did two months ago. Since a few days ago I think a different answer is required of me.
I am very lucky. I haven't been sick. But I don't feel "well" either. I am in a constant state of uneasiness and slight upset stomach. It's not the kind of thing that debilitates me - it's just annoying. And I am beginning to feel little bit less excited about being pregnant. I mean, no one told me that it would be a breeze, but somehow I had the distinct impression that I would feel blissful through the majority of my pregnancy. Aren't pregnant women supposed to be so happy and glowing?
I keep thinking about the conversation I had with my mother and grandmother the day I told them the good news. They both assured me they never suffered from morning sickness. But my mom told me that she constantly ate to stave off the feelings of nausea. She said she gained her 25-30 by the time 6 months rolled around because she was eating all the time! Oh, no. I am so prepared not to gain anymore weight than what is necessary!
I think I am beginning to understand just why my mother ate so frequently.
Since becoming pregnant, I've found out that I am required to eat more often. I am not talking about they stereotypical "eating for two cause it's just an excuse to gorge myself." When I feel hungry I also feel sick. And then my blood sugar drops and I feel faint. I actually have to put food in my body or it gets angry at me! Eating frequently also requires extra meal preparation. I have to bring twice as much food to work to last me throughout the day. And it has be high in protein (or it's just not worth the time it takes to eat it). *sigh* It's a lot of work to eat properly these days.
I can't help but compare my current eating habits to those in my past. Gluttony has always been a temptation for me. I love to enjoy food! If I'm watching TV or a movie, I've got to have something to munch on. At dinner I always grab seconds - and one cookie is never enough to satisfy my craving. My freshman year of college I gained my frosh 20 in the first semester (thanks, in part, to the all-you-can-eat buffet). Since college I've battled with my weight, at least mentally/emotionally, but I've not been successful at permanently curbing my eating habits.
Now it would seem that I can finally relax about food. I will gain weight - and that's a good thing, not to mention an unavoidable change. I have a free pass to give into my cravings and eat exactly what I want when I want it. The only problem is that I don't really enjoy eating anymore! It's become more of a chore than a pleasure. And, to top it all off, I never really feel settled or satisfied after I've eaten.
Well, I keep thinking that I've got one more month to slug it through the not-fun part of pregnancy. I keep hearing that the 2nd trimester is the best trimester. It's going to be great. I can just feel it. At the very least, it's something to focus on while I am dealing with the next four weeks!
And as I suffer through weird changes in my body, I always have something to offer up in prayer. I'm trying to remember to focus beyond myself. There's always someone who needs a prayer more than I do.
I am very lucky. I haven't been sick. But I don't feel "well" either. I am in a constant state of uneasiness and slight upset stomach. It's not the kind of thing that debilitates me - it's just annoying. And I am beginning to feel little bit less excited about being pregnant. I mean, no one told me that it would be a breeze, but somehow I had the distinct impression that I would feel blissful through the majority of my pregnancy. Aren't pregnant women supposed to be so happy and glowing?
I keep thinking about the conversation I had with my mother and grandmother the day I told them the good news. They both assured me they never suffered from morning sickness. But my mom told me that she constantly ate to stave off the feelings of nausea. She said she gained her 25-30 by the time 6 months rolled around because she was eating all the time! Oh, no. I am so prepared not to gain anymore weight than what is necessary!
I think I am beginning to understand just why my mother ate so frequently.
Since becoming pregnant, I've found out that I am required to eat more often. I am not talking about they stereotypical "eating for two cause it's just an excuse to gorge myself." When I feel hungry I also feel sick. And then my blood sugar drops and I feel faint. I actually have to put food in my body or it gets angry at me! Eating frequently also requires extra meal preparation. I have to bring twice as much food to work to last me throughout the day. And it has be high in protein (or it's just not worth the time it takes to eat it). *sigh* It's a lot of work to eat properly these days.
I can't help but compare my current eating habits to those in my past. Gluttony has always been a temptation for me. I love to enjoy food! If I'm watching TV or a movie, I've got to have something to munch on. At dinner I always grab seconds - and one cookie is never enough to satisfy my craving. My freshman year of college I gained my frosh 20 in the first semester (thanks, in part, to the all-you-can-eat buffet). Since college I've battled with my weight, at least mentally/emotionally, but I've not been successful at permanently curbing my eating habits.
Now it would seem that I can finally relax about food. I will gain weight - and that's a good thing, not to mention an unavoidable change. I have a free pass to give into my cravings and eat exactly what I want when I want it. The only problem is that I don't really enjoy eating anymore! It's become more of a chore than a pleasure. And, to top it all off, I never really feel settled or satisfied after I've eaten.
Well, I keep thinking that I've got one more month to slug it through the not-fun part of pregnancy. I keep hearing that the 2nd trimester is the best trimester. It's going to be great. I can just feel it. At the very least, it's something to focus on while I am dealing with the next four weeks!
And as I suffer through weird changes in my body, I always have something to offer up in prayer. I'm trying to remember to focus beyond myself. There's always someone who needs a prayer more than I do.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Back From Hiatus
A lot has happened in the last 10 days. I can't believe it's been that long! But I have much to tell of the twists and turns in our graduate school life.
Biggest news: Ryan and I found out that we are going to have a baby!
It's truly amazing how God's plans work out in the end. My plan was to get pregnant, apply for the Residence Director job, and then quit my full-time job in anticipation of motherhood. God's plan was for me to learn how to trust Him and follow Him in faith without knowing the outcome. I was definitely not pregnant when we applied for the job - but we applied anyway (late, and with no help from me - Ryan did it all). Then we were offered the job and I still didn't know what was going on with my future possible motherhood. We decided to accept the job before we knew if a child was in womb. Here's the amazing part - we found out the day we signed the contract that our first child is on the way. Faith first, then answers.
It was so much fun telling our families the big news. Ryan and I have been questioned about possible pregnancies since our wedding day. My sisters have been suspicious every time our family gathers for dinner.
"Any announcements?" they would query over the dining room table.
"Nope. But don't worry, you'll be the first to know," I always replied.
Imagine their surprise and joy when my answer finally changed! Baby Sister just jumped and screamed and jumped some more. Middle Sister was still away at college and we had to tell her over the phone. She was thrilled - so very excited, in fact, that I was kind of shocked by her reaction. A few days later she called me to chat and explained that her mindset had recently changed about Ryan and I becoming parents. At first she was unconvinced that we were ready for parenthood. Within the last two weeks, however, she had a change of heart and started yearning to become an auntie. What joy to make her wish come true!
Ryan's parents were even more fun to tell our good news. It was his mother's birthday and he gave her gift of becoming a grandmother. Both of Ryan's parents jumped around and yelled and hugged us when they found out. I really didn't expect to be overwhelmed with such unfettered joy. I guess we are in a really special position. This baby will be the first grandchild on both sides, and the first great-grandchild on three out of the four sides. I can't even imagine how spoiled he or she will be...
Telling our close friends was also a wonderful experience. So many people having been praying for us to have a baby. It's not like we were in a horrible situation of infertility, but it's been a long wait since our wedding day. Many of our friends espouse the Franciscan view of begetting children on the honeymoon. Let's just say that waiting nearly two years is an unusually long time for our set of friends. If Ryan didn't immediately go to graduate school we might have had a honeymoon baby too. We just have to deal with the challenges of life as they come at us. Graduate school is definitely one such challenge!
The only unfortunate event that occurred in the last week was that Middle Sister leaked our good news onto Facebook before we had a chance to tell some people personally. A couple of my close friends saw Facebook before I could call them and it ruined the surprise element. But how can I be angry at the joy of my sister? I still called my friends - better late than never! I guess that is just a consequence of modern technology. News by Facebook travels faster than news by phone.
According to my NFP charts, our little baby should arrive around December 21st. Yes, I know, he or she will be a Christmas Baby. Seriously, that is the first thing people say when they find out my due date. I am six weeks along at this point, which means the baby is technically 4 weeks old - one month already!
Another question everyone asks is how am I feeling. I've been lucky thus far - I feel practically normal. The only difference is being much more tired and little more hungry. The hungry thing is weird because sometimes a certain food will smell terrible to me, but then it tastes just fine. The challenges arises in getting over the unappetizing smell and actually eating the food. I am probably hungry because I refuse to eat what is available!
There will be much to talk of in the coming months. I don't think I will have such a long break between posts again. And now I am so excited to keep writing. This is officially a mommy blog!
Biggest news: Ryan and I found out that we are going to have a baby!
It's truly amazing how God's plans work out in the end. My plan was to get pregnant, apply for the Residence Director job, and then quit my full-time job in anticipation of motherhood. God's plan was for me to learn how to trust Him and follow Him in faith without knowing the outcome. I was definitely not pregnant when we applied for the job - but we applied anyway (late, and with no help from me - Ryan did it all). Then we were offered the job and I still didn't know what was going on with my future possible motherhood. We decided to accept the job before we knew if a child was in womb. Here's the amazing part - we found out the day we signed the contract that our first child is on the way. Faith first, then answers.
It was so much fun telling our families the big news. Ryan and I have been questioned about possible pregnancies since our wedding day. My sisters have been suspicious every time our family gathers for dinner.
"Any announcements?" they would query over the dining room table.
"Nope. But don't worry, you'll be the first to know," I always replied.
Imagine their surprise and joy when my answer finally changed! Baby Sister just jumped and screamed and jumped some more. Middle Sister was still away at college and we had to tell her over the phone. She was thrilled - so very excited, in fact, that I was kind of shocked by her reaction. A few days later she called me to chat and explained that her mindset had recently changed about Ryan and I becoming parents. At first she was unconvinced that we were ready for parenthood. Within the last two weeks, however, she had a change of heart and started yearning to become an auntie. What joy to make her wish come true!
Ryan's parents were even more fun to tell our good news. It was his mother's birthday and he gave her gift of becoming a grandmother. Both of Ryan's parents jumped around and yelled and hugged us when they found out. I really didn't expect to be overwhelmed with such unfettered joy. I guess we are in a really special position. This baby will be the first grandchild on both sides, and the first great-grandchild on three out of the four sides. I can't even imagine how spoiled he or she will be...
Telling our close friends was also a wonderful experience. So many people having been praying for us to have a baby. It's not like we were in a horrible situation of infertility, but it's been a long wait since our wedding day. Many of our friends espouse the Franciscan view of begetting children on the honeymoon. Let's just say that waiting nearly two years is an unusually long time for our set of friends. If Ryan didn't immediately go to graduate school we might have had a honeymoon baby too. We just have to deal with the challenges of life as they come at us. Graduate school is definitely one such challenge!
The only unfortunate event that occurred in the last week was that Middle Sister leaked our good news onto Facebook before we had a chance to tell some people personally. A couple of my close friends saw Facebook before I could call them and it ruined the surprise element. But how can I be angry at the joy of my sister? I still called my friends - better late than never! I guess that is just a consequence of modern technology. News by Facebook travels faster than news by phone.
According to my NFP charts, our little baby should arrive around December 21st. Yes, I know, he or she will be a Christmas Baby. Seriously, that is the first thing people say when they find out my due date. I am six weeks along at this point, which means the baby is technically 4 weeks old - one month already!
Another question everyone asks is how am I feeling. I've been lucky thus far - I feel practically normal. The only difference is being much more tired and little more hungry. The hungry thing is weird because sometimes a certain food will smell terrible to me, but then it tastes just fine. The challenges arises in getting over the unappetizing smell and actually eating the food. I am probably hungry because I refuse to eat what is available!
There will be much to talk of in the coming months. I don't think I will have such a long break between posts again. And now I am so excited to keep writing. This is officially a mommy blog!
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